. How to Have an Orgasm (for Women)
How to Have an Orgasm (for Women)
How to Have an Orgasm (for Women)

How to Have an Orgasm (for Women)

This article was co-authored by Shelby Devlin, MA. Shelby Devlin is a Sex & Intimacy Coach based in San Francisco, California. She has over 7 years of experience guiding individuals and couples in deepening their capacity for intimacy and pleasure. Shelby specializes in BDSM therapy, D/s, and fetish exploration. She earned an MA in Sexuality Studies from San Francisco State University and is certified in the Somatic Method, an experiential therapy modality. Shelby is also a certified massage therapist (CMT) and an associate practitioner of Ortho bionomy. She has a 5-star coaching rating.

There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.

This article has been viewed 1,520,282 times.

Orgasms are a great way to be intimate with both yourself and your partner. These brief moments of pleasure offer a host of benefits, like helping you manage your menstrual symptoms, improving your fertility, and help you deal with various aches and pains. [1] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source Despite what TV shows and movies may lead you to believe, there isn’t just one way to get it on. Orgasms come in a variety of shapes and sizes, and are a great way for you to get really familiar with your own body. [2] X Expert Source

Method 1 of 4: Clitoral Orgasm
  • The clitoral hood is directly above the clit, so you can bring yourself a lot of pleasure by playing around with it.
  • There’s no right or wrong way to pleasure yourself! Ultimately, you have to listen to your body and figure out what works for you.
  • Reader Poll: We asked 3280 wikiHow readers what they would consider to be a genuine orgasm, and 60% said involuntary muscle contractions.[Take Poll]
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  • Rolling the skin between your fingers may not achieve much for you, and that’s okay! Continue experimenting until you find something that really gets you going.
  • You can also encourage your partner to make things extra steamy by sucking or rubbing the general area. [6] X Trustworthy Source Go Ask Alice Medical advice site with content written by health promotion specialists affiliated with Columbia University Go to source

Keep your mind in a happy, pleasured place. Try to keep your mind focused on what you’re trying to achieve, instead of thinking about the anatomy of it all. If you’re only thinking in technical terms, you may end up losing some of the magic that you’ve been building up all this time. [7] X Trustworthy Source Go Ask Alice Medical advice site with content written by health promotion specialists affiliated with Columbia University Go to source

  • At this point, it’s best to avoid direct clitoral stimulation. Your clit will be really sensitive, and direct stimulation will hurt instead of bring pleasure.

Move around a lot if you’re being intimate with a partner. Constant movement is a great way to build up pleasure and stimulation. If you’re feeling adventurous and your partner is penetrating you, wrap your legs around your partner for more dynamic pleasure, or gently push their head down if they are giving you oral. Experiment a bit until you get into a groove that works well for you. [9] X Research source

Advertisement Method 2 of 4: G-Spot Orgasm
  • When you’re aroused, your G-spot will swell a bit and be easier to find.

Pleasure the area with your fingers until you achieve an orgasm. You can reach an orgasm on your own if you know where your G-spot is. Rub your fingers over the spot, playing around with different speeds and applying different amounts of pressure as you go. There’s no exact formula to follow that will guarantee an orgasm—instead, keep playing with yourself until you feel a really intense wave of pleasure. [11] X Research source

Help your partner find your G-spot with their fingers. Sit down on a flat and separate your legs, which will make it easier for your partner to explore. Guide their fingers to where your G-spot is, so they know what they’re working with. This can help save you a lot of trouble further down the line! [12] X Research source

  • You may need to try a few different positions before you find a system that works for you. That’s okay!
Emily Morse, Author & Sex Therapist

Be open to experimentation. "Even if you're having amazing sex on a regular basis, the key to maintaining it is to switch up your sexual repertoire. Start by thinking of a few things you've always wanted to try but have been too shy, too busy or too stressed to actually put into action."

Advertisement Method 3 of 4: Cervical Orgasm
  • This type of orgasm requires much deeper penetration, so you’ll need your partner to be on board beforehand.

Pleasure your clit so you’re already turned on. Cervical orgasms are great, but it can be difficult to go from 0 to 60. Instead, pleasure yourself or get aroused with your partner so you’ll be better prepared for your cervical orgasm. If you don’t pleasure your clit ahead of time, you may not have as much success. [15] X Research source

  • Reaching a cervical orgasm can be a very slow-going process. There’s no rush to reach the finish line!
  • If you start to feel pain, let your partner know so you both can stop.
Advertisement Method 4 of 4: Anal Orgasm
  • Consider adding a couple drops of essential oils into your bath so you can feel fully relaxed.

Pleasure yourself a bit so you’re fully turned on. Masturbate or spend getting intimate with a partner so you can experience a clitoral orgasm ahead of time. If you’re already turned on, you may have an easier time reaching an orgasm. [19] X Research source

  • For instance, you can lie face-up with your hips and knees pointed upwards, which makes it easier for your hand to reach over.
  • Anal masturbation only works well if you have short nails. If you’re really committed to getting an anal orgasm, you’ll need to trim your nails first, or ask a partner for help.
  • It may help move things along if you have a clitoral orgasm before you try for an anal orgasm.
  • Anal orgasms require a lot of patience. Don’t be disappointed if you don’t reach orgasm right away! It takes some time and commitment before you find the pleasure that you’re looking for.

Switch things up with toys and techniques. You may have an easier time experimenting with butt plugs or vibrating toys to really take things to the next level. If you’re with your partner, see if they’re interested in licking or rubbing around the area, which may help bring you to orgasm as well. [23] X Research source

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Expert Q&A

What happens during an orgasm? Shelby Devlin, MA Sex & Intimacy Coach

Shelby Devlin is a Sex & Intimacy Coach based in San Francisco, California. She has over 7 years of experience guiding individuals and couples in deepening their capacity for intimacy and pleasure. Shelby specializes in BDSM therapy, D/s, and fetish exploration. She earned an MA in Sexuality Studies from San Francisco State University and is certified in the Somatic Method, an experiential therapy modality. Shelby is also a certified massage therapist (CMT) and an associate practitioner of Ortho bionomy. She has a 5-star coaching rating.

Sex & Intimacy Coach Expert Answer

A true, full orgasm is a combination of muscle contractions, biomechanical functions, and neurological chemistry. Your pelvic floor, uterus, and vagina all contract, and your brain is flooded with feel-good chemicals like oxytocin, serotonin, opiate, and dopamine.

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While it’s not as common, you can reach an orgasm on your own time through basic, everyday activities like an intense workout or a sensual dream. [24] X Research source

There is no one-size-fits-all orgasm experience. You may have a completely unique experience, and that’s perfectly okay! [25] X Research source

Vaginal orgasms are pretty rare, and aren’t the end-all-be-all of pleasuring yourself. Experiment until you find something that works well for you! [26] X Research source

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Don’t put pressure on yourself or on your partner to have an orgasm. Orgasms are a unique and very special, sexual experience that shouldn’t be rushed or forced. [27] X Research source

Always wash your hands after fingering your anus. If you immediately switch to traditional masturbation, you could “double-dip,” or introduce a lot of unpleasant germs to your genitalia. [28] X Research source

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Thanks for reading our article! If you'd like to learn more about orgasms, check out our in-depth interview with Shelby Devlin, MA.

References
  1. ↑https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/22969-orgasm
  2. ↑ Shelby Devlin, MA. Sex & Intimacy Coach. Expert Interview
  3. ↑https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5675825/
  4. ↑https://www.rfsu.se/globalassets/pdf/a-clitoral-guide.pdf
  5. ↑https://www.rfsu.se/globalassets/pdf/a-clitoral-guide.pdf
  6. ↑https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/whats-difference-between-vaginal-and-clitoral-orgasm
  7. ↑https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/whats-difference-between-vaginal-and-clitoral-orgasm
  8. ↑https://www.rfsu.se/globalassets/pdf/a-clitoral-guide.pdf
  9. ↑https://www.rfsu.se/globalassets/pdf/a-clitoral-guide.pdf
  1. ↑https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a15915456/clit-rubbing-masturbation/
  2. ↑https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a15915456/clit-rubbing-masturbation/
  3. ↑https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a15915456/clit-rubbing-masturbation/
  4. ↑https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a15915456/clit-rubbing-masturbation/
  5. ↑https://www.glamour.com/story/how-to-have-a-cervical-orgasm-according-to-a-neuroscientist
  6. ↑https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/a653/sex-positions/
  7. ↑https://www.glamour.com/story/how-to-have-a-cervical-orgasm-according-to-a-neuroscientist
  8. ↑https://www.glamour.com/story/how-to-have-a-cervical-orgasm-according-to-a-neuroscientist
  9. ↑https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a26901384/anal-masturbation-tips-techniques/
  10. ↑https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a26901384/anal-masturbation-tips-techniques/
  11. ↑https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a26901384/anal-masturbation-tips-techniques/
  12. ↑https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/sex/a24109009/anal-orgasm/
  13. ↑https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/sex/a24109009/anal-orgasm/
  14. ↑https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/sex/a24109009/anal-orgasm/
  15. ↑https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/types-of-orgasms
  16. ↑https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sex-pleasure-and-sexual-dysfunction/sex-and-pleasure/orgasms
  17. ↑https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a6131/how-to-have-vaginal-orgasm/
  18. ↑https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sex-pleasure-and-sexual-dysfunction/sex-and-pleasure/orgasms
  19. ↑https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/sex/a24109009/anal-orgasm/

About This Article

Co-authored by: Sex & Intimacy Coach

This article was co-authored by Shelby Devlin, MA. Shelby Devlin is a Sex & Intimacy Coach based in San Francisco, California. She has over 7 years of experience guiding individuals and couples in deepening their capacity for intimacy and pleasure. Shelby specializes in BDSM therapy, D/s, and fetish exploration. She earned an MA in Sexuality Studies from San Francisco State University and is certified in the Somatic Method, an experiential therapy modality. Shelby is also a certified massage therapist (CMT) and an associate practitioner of Ortho bionomy. She has a 5-star coaching rating. This article has been viewed 1,520,282 times.

441 votes - 71% Co-authors: 18 Updated: July 26, 2025 Views: 1,520,282 Categories: Sexual Activity

Medical Disclaimer

The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.

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Reader Success Stories

Clay W. Jul 12, 2023

"After reading this article I was able to focus on the areas of vaginal stimulation more specially after being reminded of particular locations. This resulted in more pleasure and inspired more exploration like anal stimulation which we found. Thanks." . " more

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Advertisement Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Co-authored by: Sex & Intimacy Coach 441 votes - 71% Click a star to vote Co-authors: 18 Updated: July 26, 2025 Views: 1,520,282

"After reading this article I was able to focus on the areas of vaginal stimulation more specially after being reminded of particular locations. This resulted in more pleasure and inspired more exploration like anal stimulation which we found. Thanks." . " more

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